Beware the Girls in Your Email by Ron Steinman
We should count our blessings for what we experience on the Internet daily when we see email ads that offer sexual favors and good times, seemingly for pleasure and ultimately, as perverse dessert. The ads are relentless, offering what is clearly beyond natural. Nothing stops the advertisements from coming. We are so lucky. The ads propose a plethora of the mundane and the bizarre. For some reason, I am, as I am sure you are, in a rotation, much like a gerbil in a cage. Nevertheless, I have the power to kill these ads, which I do, but they are immune to death and they keep coming back. They exist to entice. They rise majestically from the ashes, putting the Phoenix to shame. The names of the women who purvey these services, though, are what impress me as lessons in how to use a dictionary, especially when I believe the offers come from countries other than the United States. For your edification here are just a few: Angelica, Betty, Patricia, Lillie, Beulah, Bonnie, Robin, Joanne, Melody, Tonya, Janis, Karla, Verna, Brandy, Vickie, Anita, Crystal, Stella, Doreen, Blanche, Ramona, Tiffany, Nicola, Hannah, Samantha, Katrina, Suzanne, Daniel, Alberta, etc., etc. The list goes on relentlessly. Read them and weep, giggle or shudder. A word to the wise, though, as the saying goes, never open any of these offerings, yes, for all the obvious reasons, no matter how tempting they seem. Do not eat the apple. Open at your own risk, and know the trap you may get yourself into, a trap without escape. I, for one, never open any of those offerings. Call it anything you want but consider that fear plays a big role. As an indulgence, admire the sellers of those wares for their sheer audacity but never touch. If you do, it will only result in burned fingers.